NO
I mean it, NO
N O
How two little letters make you feel so powerful. At the age of two, you’d tell mom NOoooo, giving the cheek to the spoon full of soggy spinach cream casserole.
No is empowering. No is firm. No is short. No is direct. No puts you in control.
No, you don’t deserve a raise. No, we don’t cater to meanie weenies. No, you can’t have another cavitron to use as an aerosol diffuser.
But yet, you only hear the counter argument. ‘Get your patients to say Yes!’ ‘How To Be Influential’ and the use of ‘Yes Ladders’ to escalate towards agreement. Hearing and saying Yes is our internal default.
It’s too easy to say YES.
Yes Dear. Yes I can totally do that. Yes I’m perfect for the job.
A Yes answer comes in three flavors. Confirmation, Counterfeit and Commitment.
Confirmation: ‘Hey, Susan, I need help catching up with turnover in my room.’ ‘Yes, I can get the room setup and ready for you.’
Counterfeit: [Telemarketer or Sales Rep] ‘Dr. Johnson, do you have just a moment of time to talk?’ ‘Yes, but please make it quick.’
Commitment: ‘Are you in it for the long haul to save your teeth?’ ‘Yes, I’m sick and tired of them falling apart.’
I’m finding it difficult to write about the differentiation between the three ‘YES’ answers. Inflection and context serve a great role in hearing the subtle difference. But listening for it, once you hear a counterfeit ‘Yes’, you can never unhear it. Your staff and patients play this ‘Yes’ game with you every day.
So STOP striving for any old yes answer. Actually, it’s more powerful to get a NO.
Does ripping out your teeth, reaming out bone and sticking in implants as fixation devices sound like a pleasant time to you?
Do you love spending all your discretionary income on your teeth with me?
Do you think it’s ok to make every one of your patients’ gums look like a bloody Tarantino movie scene (I highly recommend Django Unchained ending for reference).
N O
Let them say those two little letters. Say it to yourself with the little voice in your head. It feels good doesn’t it. No, lets us find the real truth. Because after they disarm us with ‘NO’ they follow up with what is really bothering them.
‘No, I don’t really like you as a dentist.’
‘No, I don’t think you’re a great role model or player in my practice.’
‘No, I find you an atrocious patient to work with.’
Don’t always be agreeable if you seek the truth and want to thrive.
Take care,
Lam